I DONT CARE....

What they see isn’t always true;
The portion untold is what lies inside the blue.
So many promises to accomplish before death;
Is what makes this heart aflutter.

The unfulfilled wishes still linger at some corner;
Making the darkness inside more drear;
The uncanny sense of direction that leads to this darkness so unavoidable;
Is what makes the mental arena ungratified and deplorable.

Never have I lost the sensation of that concern;
But the weights of the emotions push down the connecting thread;
And the insalubrious thought of this world is what frightens me;

The attitude of unconsideredness never falls behind;
Making the reality dimmer day by day;
Never will it affect me is what I always think;
But it does hurt and you cry within;
No matter how much you say ….”I don’t care…”;

STRANGE BUT TRUE....

It’s strange …that every hello is accompanied by a goodbye;
It’s strange….how much you say “I don’t care”…it concerns you the most;
It’s strange…People saying I want to forget my past…never do they think how much they will loose…;
It’s strange…how can one word contain so much regret?
It’s strange…when you want someone they are never around;
It’s strange…we can forgive someone but never forget;
It’s strange…how the past memories of someone could bring tears in your eyes;
It’s strange…how sometimes wrong decisions can cost you the most;

But to me all these things don’t seem strange….

POVERTY..

In the shifting shadow of the lantern light;
The area of vision becomes humbler;
Her contours become yet more pronounced;
Against the pitch blackness of the impatient man…

Sitting on the verandah of the hut;
She looks impatiently at the cattle;
Struggling with the suffocating stench that comes of the empty sacks stained with kerosene;

Smell of hootch,of sweat,of flesh;
The man’s Scottish, drunken smile and look of vague desire;
Her dry hung elongated breasts;
Made the gaping cleavages of the paddy fields throw a sarcastic smile;

The haggard looking birds swooping down in the haphazard fields;
Gazing at the small hut and the dim lantern;
Where her naked children fight over a loaf;
Snatched from a dog..


Some erotic twists and turns;
Arms clasping and unclasping;
Like a woman expressing her emotions during the love making with her husband;
She clambers up like a crab;
As the hairy-chested man locomotes for a decisive thrust;

Breathing like an exhausted;
She looks at her children with a gleam of compromised content;
But the sorrow of poverty clearly visible;
As she looks at the two rupees;
Added to the thirty rupees she earned;
By selling her daughter…..

GRAVE...

A small domain;
Yet able to contain;
The sleeping beauty in paradise;
In a diminished plane….
But may she once step in and forever stay;
I know it’s hard but sometimes life leaves you no other way…

Shouting, mourning, crying is what I don’t want;
May it all happen in a peaceful manner;
And I promise to return in the next new moon….

Many came, many gone;
I have witnessed them all;
Conquered the whole world with a swing;
But none of them had the potential to bespeak their destiny to cling;

I never discriminated anybody;
Be it a black or a white;
Because to me they are family and to the world they are just a body….

Now as you are here;
Never will I leave you alone;
Because nothing in this world can change the fact that you are no more known…

Don’t be heartbroken;
Someday you will have different world;
Even that day also I’ll miss you;
And that day also I’ll think you as mine;
And forever in my heart your name will shine…


But always I pray;
Never do you resemble the characteristics of grey;
I always wish to see smile on your face;
I always wish that you win every race;
May you live long and your place be the home of the free and the brave;
This remains as the only wish of mine as a GRAVE….

BATTLE WITH INSOMNIA.....

Dear god...
I fear I have no clue what I'm after;
The passing night in faded purple has brought nothing for me to cheer;
Tossing and turning restlessly in the bed;
Trying to blot out the memories seeping into my head;

I'm aware of the world moving around me;
And in my head its vehement outcry lingers as perpetual rue;

I know of no blanket that would comfort;
So enchanting, so deceiving;
That would accompany me to death;
With every dream I struggle for breath.

Never had I encountered such nightmares;
The sweats, the aches;
All I do is tremble;
All I do is shake.

With the constant movements during sleep;
My body temperature falls;
And I feel the words escaping my lips;
As if they run past my finger tips;

No control;
Finally rising from the bed with a sleepless break;
So cold;
And now all I can do is shake.

I’m swamped;
My shirt sticking to my skin;
In my efforts to have a sound sleep has made me a crank;
I’m so cold;
I know my dream has become old;
But what else can I do;
If I have only one dream;
And nothing in this world can make it true….

LOVE....

"I have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up every day;
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine;
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
With anyone other than you."

Though it’s just a wish of mine;
I know, this is not possible anymore;
But the feelings of love and togetherness will persist in this heart;
And you will be loved no matter what;
And everything will come around in time.

You have left me in the middle of the journey;
How could I walk lone??
I wish I could go to that world where you have gone;
I wish I could follow your footsteps that would accompany me to find you;
Though I know that never in this lifetime can I get you;

How can I take myself away from you?
I can’t compete, I can’t deny;
There is nothing that I didn’t try;
But now you lie cold and numb;
You are just a body to that insentient world;
But to me you were more than a girl;
You were the love of my life;
And I know I could never get you as the girl I wished to be my wife;

I lost you, but never lost the feeling of togetherness;
I loved you more than anybody;
But destiny betrayed me and life deceived you;
And you were not able to outlive the feelings of my heart;

I’ll always miss you my love;
The girl I always loved is no more in this world;
But I have stolen some sweet memories of yours;
And these would stay with me till the last breath of my life;

But every night I sit alone,
I remember the time which has gone;
The girl whom I loved with the best of my heart is no more;
But still I feel the same for you;
AND ALWAYS WONDER WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LOVING YOU…..

CONFUSED....

Swaying like a feather;
Dancing like a peacock;
Yet conscious about the edge that divides the malign and
the love;
Suddenly a white void, blindness, unseen misery kvetched
from behind;
Complaining about the mixed up world of torture and pain;
This has its curtain shielding the bed of emotions;
Which sings to me inside my hollow mind;

Moving ahead, these dreams plague me in my sleep;
The confusion still prevails;
Cursed, I wander in circles;
Dazed and confused to the extreme.
The numbness towards its action makes an extraterrestrial
impression in my mind;
Which shakes up the very foundation of belief that
inhabits in the soul.

The inadequacy of not able to help it clearly expressed
the frustration of the baffled;
But soon the frustration disappears;
After the encountered confusion makes way for an
unobserved yet hopeful path;
For a moment the deformed and derailed target seemed to
have a physical existence;
And the mind treated it with gentle reverence;
Though it never subsisted….

STRANGE DREAMS....

Day 1
Walking through the lines of destiny;
Reviewing the past days of failure;
Saw a girl midway that was worth a watch over;
Followed the pathway leading to her blandishing beauty, forgetting the idiotism involved.
Next moment when awake realized it was just another camouflage of mental imagery……..

Day 2
Running down the lane like a jock;
Chasing the dream I had always cherished;
This actually appeared physical to me;
But when caught hold of it, vanished without a trace;
Badgering me like a mischievous child making weird actions after it reappeared few paces away from me;

Day 3(the strangest)

Sitting on a bench with all my friends;
Felt someone patting on my back;
Turned around and saw it was a ghost wearing a Mack;
Shivering with fear all of us stood up;
Seeing our reaction the ghost also backed off;
Little later he started lamenting;
To which we thought it was his way of assaulting;
But he was crying for some other reason;
Which he never disclosed before us;
But his intensions never seemed alarming...

A BEGGAR'S DREAM...

Besides the road splitter he lay;
His head resting on a punctured sack, and his torn attire exposed his bosom;
Looking as calm as a child in dreamless slumber;
“He was laid to eternal sleep beside his own shadow”

Nothing he had except a bowl made of steel;
Truly a beggar, but not at heart;
Though treated as an alien, but his dreams and emotions were same as his affluent contemporary;

During his sleep, once again he saw his dark eyed queen;
Sitting restlessly near the window waiting for him;
His children had slept on the floor waiting;
Benumbed from the chaos of the outside world;
They looked like little angels of the faerie;

Returning back from work;
His wife embraced him into her arms;
Crying like a child yet scolding him for his tentative schedule;
Finally cursing herself for the mistake of bawling out;

Suddenly his dream broke and he found;
Nothing except darkness and poverty;
The queen was gone, so was his dream;
“And he realized that life could never be what one seems,
Life could never be what one seems….”

UNFORTUNATE PERSON...

From cradle to grave;
From bed to coffin;
Each and every moment of life had been a battle for him;

Sometimes fulfilling the expectations of his loved ones;
And sometimes sacrificing his dreams for the sake of others;
This in turn made him a mere woolgatherer;

As a child he sat near a pond with a hayfield behind;
Watching the fishes swim was like equanimity predefined;
The beauty of the whole field was so spell binding;
His heart thought, “How nature’s beauty could be so blandishing”;

When adult, he had inseminated lots of dreams in his mind;
But regrettably none of them were strong enough to fly;
As his dreams shattered, so did he;
But still he heard that vehement outcry of his dreams in his mental imagery.

And now he lies in the grave;
His grief so tongue less;
His body so cold and insentient;
Like all those whose life ended with a sad note.

SUCCESS...

Am I not faithful, am I not strong,
Am I not good enough to belong in your reverie o success?
I have fought lots of battle during my journey;
But your cruel attitudes bury my accomplishments.

Don’t worry for I will find the answer;
And thwart the reason for my defeat;
And that day I will announce the entire world;
"Now success is mine forever".

But to reach the compass of success;
I have to forge a shield of innocence along with a cunning attitude to devastate the alien thoughts which are road blocks to victory;
And I believe one day I’ll emerge victorious.

I own my insecurities;
I try to own my destiny;
That I can make or break if I choose;
In order to carve my thought according to the dreams I envision;
And I hope someday;
"That will be the beginning of a new journey…."

A MOTHER TO HER SON...

o my sweetheart where had you been,
This pleasant weather was about to swing.

The gusty winds reminds me of something bad,
Which makes my soul shudder like the torn curtains of an old hut.

Please don’t leave your mother alone,
I know every time my expression of love was failure prone.

Don’t go outside barefooted,
Because you might get hurt in the stampede.

This world is very brutal,
Always step forward only after the almighty’s approval.

I can’t be with you forever,
But my heart always preys to god that, all the joy and delight be bestowed upon you like shower.

PERSUASION TO GOD...

God I know you will always say no,
Still this heart of mine persuades you to reckon,

I don’t have the courage to confront your judgment,
Still this heart of mine dreams of its accomplishments.

God I know it’s not possible,
But how could I explain my heart this truth so apprehensible

God I know your decision is always unbiased
But human heart is not so impeccable.

God I prey to you from the bottom my heart.
Not to destroy this dream of mine as an emotional holocaust

KASSA..

This is an oriya word which has become quite illustrious among the students of kiit university.
Kassa is used to evince all kinds of emotions..

Abe yaar dekh kassa maal jaa rahi hai..
This is the best example according to me to describe the word kassa.
This is a kind of compliment from the virile department..but this could seem quite indecent
and a satirical mimicry to the females.

Kassa has become a significant word of our dictionary.
Kassa can be used in any kind of situation like if someone is cracking hilarious jokes then we can say , kassa joke tha yaar.

It can also be used to irritate somebody..
Like if your friend is studying ….in order to hassle him you could say..
Bhai tu is baar exam mai kassa kar dega yaar..

And if you want to avenge for the slanderous defamation of yours by someone, then kassa is the best word for sarcasm..
As for example…teri maal kassa hai yaar…is a sarcastic comment…and it will surely make the opposite person furious.

The word kassa has a domain which contains a lots of words in it..
And mind you kassa word can also be used by the committed guys to express their feeling to their better half..
Like you can appretiate your loved one by complimenting her using the word kassa..
Tumhara suit kassa hai…
As a matter of fact this compliment is “just to make her happy” contrary to her thought of real appreciation.
Rather its mere flattery.
Whatever it be..but the main point of consideration is you are successful in blandishing her.

So whatever the situation be just carve your words in such a manner that it comes up with a meaning which solves your dilemma but mind you it must contain the word kassa.

A TOP

How gracefully a top rotates and moves nimbly like a deer,
Just as our future revolves around the destiny’s contour.


A top rotates about its own axis completing one rotation and promises to ingeminate it in the same way over and over again,
Just as a real winner promises to iterate his triumph in a more audacious and
dauntless fashion than the previous one.


A top when disturbed gets unbalanced and capitulates due to loss in inertia,
Just as our soul dies out when we suffer from some pathological state.


A top decelerates and its gyration comes to an end after a particular period,
Just as we are not immortal and our perpetual struggle with this world will surely come to an end probably on the brink of geezerhood and finally resulting in death.

PERFECT GIRL

A perfect girl is hard to find,

But once you find her, it’s a divine.

She doesn’t know the latest fashion trends but her internal beauty is extremely sublime,
Her flawless beauty and immaculateness in her character makes her empyrean.

Her ravishing blonde and uncomparable gracefulness is something to die for.

Her pain and excruciation makes you cry,
Her gorgeous smile makes you feel like tripping on your toe.

The one’s who are fortunate enough are bestowed a perfect girl by the almighty.

HOW COMPLEX IS THE MIND

This is how it goes…

How levelheaded is this mind
Breaks the barrier of intolerance making way for understanding

How imagery is this mind
Imagines the inconceivable, yet sometimes unable to clench the simplest of things.

How suppressive is this mind
Thinks of conquering the whole world, yet not able to accomplish the humblest of things

How diffident is this mind
Thinks about a girl without respite and tries to behold her, yet not able to express the love

How abstracted is this mind
At this moment listens to the words verbalized by the mortal, and the other moment roving vagabonds like hungry nomads.

How mercurial is this mind
When angry thinks like a gossipy malevolent old woman and when gratified curses itself as if it is an angelic messenger.

How cloaked is this mind
Woolgathers like a dreamer, yet makes a person dream by converting itself to a subconscious mind.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Lots of dreams inseminated in this mind;
Some mature with feathers and some unfledged;
But the vehement outcry of both seemed quite contemplated.
The nervousness of being in an exotic place was unbearable;
The hesitancy to approach for friendship was irritating and audacious probably due to immaturity.

But soon everything got settled down and now all of us are intimate friends.
Time has passed, years have rolled by and now we have entered the third year of our college life.
But this mind could still give a vivid description of all the sweet incidents of the starting days.
The jitteriness before the day of exams, the group studies, all these might prove to be an angelic beneficence for our own self.
The serious discussion about a particular girl and unnecessary pondering over a matter without any reason would seem very comical to us once we become responsible citizens of the society probably 10 years from now.

Still remember those gratifying days of 1st year, while returning from our respective classes or labs, it had become a routine for us to assemble at a particular spot (Mannu canteen) which was superseded by Atmaram’s in 2nd year .

The mirthful way of exaggerating the interaction with a girl among your friends is something that would be remembered for a long time.
At times getting serious about future considering the current market scenario and the other moment sitting at Atmaram smoking a cigarette (sutta) with friends in order to unlax.
These minor things would surely persist in the mind no matter what the situation be.
And while recalling these things few years from now would surely make way for a few drops of tear.
This is the best part of our life and we should live it to its fullest. :)

Sometimes thinking and visualizing the world in a broader aspect we tend to get acquainted with the melancholy truth of how painful and agonizing could a person’s life be who knows that he is not going to survive any more but still he nibbles this bitter fruit of nature with a blue heart..
A same incident happened to a person who is a stranger to me but I could surely feel his infliction.

Today, in the morning I saw a person sitting at the verandah of our hostel along with a woman to accompany him. There was a small board of thick paper placed at the corner which said blood cancer patient, please donate.

I thought to myself how incapacitated could a person’s life be when he doesn’t have money.
I was crestfallen, seeing their helplessness. I questioned myself , how could this be an unbiased decision of God by jumping to a conclusion of ceasing a man’s life in such a manner. But as a matter of fact, we are all marionette and the puppeteer is sitting above.

According to me the person who would be suffering from all these would slowly solace his heart and move along, but what about those who are entwined with him in a relation involving tenderness and love. Death is a very deplorable fact of every person’s life.

In my opinion our college should give him all the materialistic help possible. This is a serious matter of issue and it ought be taken into account by the founder of our college Mr A. Samanta. As our college plays a very active role in the upliftment projects like didactics for the tribal children, it has also borne fruit for them like many foreign delegates have been visiting our college for quite some time.

It would be a great help to that person if our college could take complete responsibility of his wellness considering that our college has 1500 bedded hospital.
And according to me it is possible ,taking into account the fact that our college asserts of taking the responsibility of supporting 10000 tribal children and educating them from kindergarten to intermediate level that to without taking fees for their education.

So, our college might belittle this matter, according to my point of view.
But it could save someone’s life.

Let us all step forward and help this person confront death.
And mostly I would like to bespeak DR A. Samanta to take this matter into consideration.

Tanwir Khan.
Kiit University