Zindegi kuch aur hoti

अक्सर बहत सी चीज़ें अधूरी ही रह जाती हैं.. 

पास आके भी क्यों आखिर बिछड़ ही जाती हैं... 

किस्मत है या दस्तूर ज़िन्दगी का... 

लेकिन क्यों चाहा के भी कुछ चीज़ें वापस नहीं आती हैं... 

ऐसा ही कुछ मेरे साथ भी हुआ... 

बहत कुछ अधूरा मेरा भी रह गया... 

जो दिल के मेरे भी बहत करीब था... 

पता नहीं कैसे पर खो ही गया... 

ढूंढ़ने की कोशिश करता हु आज भी मैं... 

सोचता हु के शायद रोक सकता था उसको... 

बोलना चाहता था जो दिल मैं था मेरे हमेशा से... 

पर बोल ना पाया कभी भी उसको... 

सपने मैंने भी देखे थे बहत सारे... 

लेकिन वो अधूरे ही रेह गये हैं... 

उसके साथ ही रहना था मुझको

पर अब अकेले ही रेह गए हैं... 

ज़िन्दगी की कश्मकश मैं जब मैं जूझ रहा था... 

अकेले लड़ता रहा ये सोचकर के एक दिन हम साथ होंगे.... 

लेकिन वक़्त कुछ ऐसा था के हम समझ ना पाए एक दूसरे को... 

और जब वक़्त मेरे पास था तब वो छोड़ जा चुकी थी मुझको... 

खुस हु मैं उसके लिए क्यों की वो खुस है... 

टूट ही गया दिल मेरा पर चाहता हु वो सलामत रहे... 

लेकिन फिर भी कभी कभी लगता है... 

शायद ज़िन्दगी कुछ और होती

अगर हम एक दूसरे के साथ होते... 

Naya saal Mubarak

दिन को महीने और महीनो को साल होते देखा
मैंने भी इस साल कुछ चीज़ों को बदलते देखा
कुछ पाने के आस मैं शायद कुछ खोया मैंने
इस साल मैंने भी अपने माँ बाप को बुड्ढे होते देखा

माना के व्हाट्सप्प और फेसबुक से दूरियां काम हो जाती है
लेकिन अब भी क्यों मुझे मेरे सेहर की वो गालियां रोज़ बुलाती हैं

शायद कुछ और साल ऐसे ही बिताऊंगा
अपनों से दूर रहकर शायद कुछ और पैसे कमाऊंगा
फिर अगले साल खुदको एहि कहकर मनाऊंगा
के एक दिन में घर वापस लौट आऊंगा। 

ETERNITY...CHAPTER 1

Often I have noticed people getting satisfied with the little success they get as touchwood. I’m not here to judge anybody for their strive for success or the number of failures they have come across during their reign of mortality.

Neither am I stating any point. This story or u might say it as a dissatisfied state of mind being expressed in words.

Why does every achievement fades so quickly when u are a grown up compared to that in child hood when even a small thing seemed so eye catching and all that mattered was to get that thing until someone else gets it.

But back then also days were tough, it always was. But still the dependency was always there. There was always someone when it came to guidance. My father took two steps forward to hold me when I was about to fall and my mother stayed behind me to ensure that I don’t fall back.

They made me walk when all I did was crawl and reach the top most steps and try to come back but were unable to do it as I got nervous with the height while descending.

GARDEN OF THOUGHTS...

In the midst of this fussy world;

The sound of that broken song seems so plangent;

The resemblance of beauty with imagination was always pleasant;

Yet the garden of mental imagery was incomplete.

I had that beautiful picture of nursery in my mind since childhood;

It still propagates somewhere;

Making the reflection of whiteness a bit dimmer than usual.

Fading away with the passage of time;

Accompanied with the events of joy and sorrow;

some have a blur impression;

But i have managed to amass  them;

And hopefully my garden of thoughts will always remain with me...

:(

Here is something which I could never be able to express …but as I feel heavy hearted and woebegone all I could do is convert it into words…as this is something which nobody could understand.

How much I want to open up my heart;

In front of someone I could trust;

A shoulder to lean is all I need;

While my heart is left to bleed;

All I want to do is scream, cry in front of someone;

Without thinking, that crying might be a sign of weakness.

Hurt and mockery cause me pain,
as it engulfs and swirls in my brain,
while I want to weep under the pouring rain,
and my mind would slowly goes insane...

I have suffered because I had no luck;

Or maybe I am not a hypocrite;

But I have lost the peace I have always cherished;

And now as I stand here all I feel is abandoning this feeling….

I WISH TO BE A CHILD AGAIN....

I don’t remember when;

Skipping every rock on the pond;

My childhood is forever gone;

I took it all for granted;

Standing near the hearth for warm;

Never realized how cold it was for the unfortunate ones.

I wish I could walk my way back to those innocent years;

Skipping the pain and miseries;

Where I always try to hold back my tears.

The guiltless face of childhood still appeals me from within;

As all of us have changed from then;

And there is no need for me to pretend.

Lately I have been missing all those days;

And I often feel the urge to cry;

Why couldn’t everything stay forever?

Why must we all have to say goodbye.

These years have passed in the blink of an eye;

The childhood friendship still lingers in my heart;

And those friendships we had have faded quickly.

I look back on those memories often;

As every person does;

And realize how much I wish to be a child again;

How much I wish to be a child again……

I DONT CARE....

What they see isn’t always true;
The portion untold is what lies inside the blue.
So many promises to accomplish before death;
Is what makes this heart aflutter.

The unfulfilled wishes still linger at some corner;
Making the darkness inside more drear;
The uncanny sense of direction that leads to this darkness so unavoidable;
Is what makes the mental arena ungratified and deplorable.

Never have I lost the sensation of that concern;
But the weights of the emotions push down the connecting thread;
And the insalubrious thought of this world is what frightens me;

The attitude of unconsideredness never falls behind;
Making the reality dimmer day by day;
Never will it affect me is what I always think;
But it does hurt and you cry within;
No matter how much you say ….”I don’t care…”;