GARDEN OF THOUGHTS...

In the midst of this fussy world;

The sound of that broken song seems so plangent;

The resemblance of beauty with imagination was always pleasant;

Yet the garden of mental imagery was incomplete.

I had that beautiful picture of nursery in my mind since childhood;

It still propagates somewhere;

Making the reflection of whiteness a bit dimmer than usual.

Fading away with the passage of time;

Accompanied with the events of joy and sorrow;

some have a blur impression;

But i have managed to amass  them;

And hopefully my garden of thoughts will always remain with me...

:(

Here is something which I could never be able to express …but as I feel heavy hearted and woebegone all I could do is convert it into words…as this is something which nobody could understand.

How much I want to open up my heart;

In front of someone I could trust;

A shoulder to lean is all I need;

While my heart is left to bleed;

All I want to do is scream, cry in front of someone;

Without thinking, that crying might be a sign of weakness.

Hurt and mockery cause me pain,
as it engulfs and swirls in my brain,
while I want to weep under the pouring rain,
and my mind would slowly goes insane...

I have suffered because I had no luck;

Or maybe I am not a hypocrite;

But I have lost the peace I have always cherished;

And now as I stand here all I feel is abandoning this feeling….

I WISH TO BE A CHILD AGAIN....

I don’t remember when;

Skipping every rock on the pond;

My childhood is forever gone;

I took it all for granted;

Standing near the hearth for warm;

Never realized how cold it was for the unfortunate ones.

I wish I could walk my way back to those innocent years;

Skipping the pain and miseries;

Where I always try to hold back my tears.

The guiltless face of childhood still appeals me from within;

As all of us have changed from then;

And there is no need for me to pretend.

Lately I have been missing all those days;

And I often feel the urge to cry;

Why couldn’t everything stay forever?

Why must we all have to say goodbye.

These years have passed in the blink of an eye;

The childhood friendship still lingers in my heart;

And those friendships we had have faded quickly.

I look back on those memories often;

As every person does;

And realize how much I wish to be a child again;

How much I wish to be a child again……

I DONT CARE....

What they see isn’t always true;
The portion untold is what lies inside the blue.
So many promises to accomplish before death;
Is what makes this heart aflutter.

The unfulfilled wishes still linger at some corner;
Making the darkness inside more drear;
The uncanny sense of direction that leads to this darkness so unavoidable;
Is what makes the mental arena ungratified and deplorable.

Never have I lost the sensation of that concern;
But the weights of the emotions push down the connecting thread;
And the insalubrious thought of this world is what frightens me;

The attitude of unconsideredness never falls behind;
Making the reality dimmer day by day;
Never will it affect me is what I always think;
But it does hurt and you cry within;
No matter how much you say ….”I don’t care…”;

STRANGE BUT TRUE....

It’s strange …that every hello is accompanied by a goodbye;
It’s strange….how much you say “I don’t care”…it concerns you the most;
It’s strange…People saying I want to forget my past…never do they think how much they will loose…;
It’s strange…how can one word contain so much regret?
It’s strange…when you want someone they are never around;
It’s strange…we can forgive someone but never forget;
It’s strange…how the past memories of someone could bring tears in your eyes;
It’s strange…how sometimes wrong decisions can cost you the most;

But to me all these things don’t seem strange….

POVERTY..

In the shifting shadow of the lantern light;
The area of vision becomes humbler;
Her contours become yet more pronounced;
Against the pitch blackness of the impatient man…

Sitting on the verandah of the hut;
She looks impatiently at the cattle;
Struggling with the suffocating stench that comes of the empty sacks stained with kerosene;

Smell of hootch,of sweat,of flesh;
The man’s Scottish, drunken smile and look of vague desire;
Her dry hung elongated breasts;
Made the gaping cleavages of the paddy fields throw a sarcastic smile;

The haggard looking birds swooping down in the haphazard fields;
Gazing at the small hut and the dim lantern;
Where her naked children fight over a loaf;
Snatched from a dog..


Some erotic twists and turns;
Arms clasping and unclasping;
Like a woman expressing her emotions during the love making with her husband;
She clambers up like a crab;
As the hairy-chested man locomotes for a decisive thrust;

Breathing like an exhausted;
She looks at her children with a gleam of compromised content;
But the sorrow of poverty clearly visible;
As she looks at the two rupees;
Added to the thirty rupees she earned;
By selling her daughter…..

GRAVE...

A small domain;
Yet able to contain;
The sleeping beauty in paradise;
In a diminished plane….
But may she once step in and forever stay;
I know it’s hard but sometimes life leaves you no other way…

Shouting, mourning, crying is what I don’t want;
May it all happen in a peaceful manner;
And I promise to return in the next new moon….

Many came, many gone;
I have witnessed them all;
Conquered the whole world with a swing;
But none of them had the potential to bespeak their destiny to cling;

I never discriminated anybody;
Be it a black or a white;
Because to me they are family and to the world they are just a body….

Now as you are here;
Never will I leave you alone;
Because nothing in this world can change the fact that you are no more known…

Don’t be heartbroken;
Someday you will have different world;
Even that day also I’ll miss you;
And that day also I’ll think you as mine;
And forever in my heart your name will shine…


But always I pray;
Never do you resemble the characteristics of grey;
I always wish to see smile on your face;
I always wish that you win every race;
May you live long and your place be the home of the free and the brave;
This remains as the only wish of mine as a GRAVE….