I WISH TO BE A CHILD AGAIN....

I don’t remember when;

Skipping every rock on the pond;

My childhood is forever gone;

I took it all for granted;

Standing near the hearth for warm;

Never realized how cold it was for the unfortunate ones.

I wish I could walk my way back to those innocent years;

Skipping the pain and miseries;

Where I always try to hold back my tears.

The guiltless face of childhood still appeals me from within;

As all of us have changed from then;

And there is no need for me to pretend.

Lately I have been missing all those days;

And I often feel the urge to cry;

Why couldn’t everything stay forever?

Why must we all have to say goodbye.

These years have passed in the blink of an eye;

The childhood friendship still lingers in my heart;

And those friendships we had have faded quickly.

I look back on those memories often;

As every person does;

And realize how much I wish to be a child again;

How much I wish to be a child again……

I DONT CARE....

What they see isn’t always true;
The portion untold is what lies inside the blue.
So many promises to accomplish before death;
Is what makes this heart aflutter.

The unfulfilled wishes still linger at some corner;
Making the darkness inside more drear;
The uncanny sense of direction that leads to this darkness so unavoidable;
Is what makes the mental arena ungratified and deplorable.

Never have I lost the sensation of that concern;
But the weights of the emotions push down the connecting thread;
And the insalubrious thought of this world is what frightens me;

The attitude of unconsideredness never falls behind;
Making the reality dimmer day by day;
Never will it affect me is what I always think;
But it does hurt and you cry within;
No matter how much you say ….”I don’t care…”;

STRANGE BUT TRUE....

It’s strange …that every hello is accompanied by a goodbye;
It’s strange….how much you say “I don’t care”…it concerns you the most;
It’s strange…People saying I want to forget my past…never do they think how much they will loose…;
It’s strange…how can one word contain so much regret?
It’s strange…when you want someone they are never around;
It’s strange…we can forgive someone but never forget;
It’s strange…how the past memories of someone could bring tears in your eyes;
It’s strange…how sometimes wrong decisions can cost you the most;

But to me all these things don’t seem strange….

POVERTY..

In the shifting shadow of the lantern light;
The area of vision becomes humbler;
Her contours become yet more pronounced;
Against the pitch blackness of the impatient man…

Sitting on the verandah of the hut;
She looks impatiently at the cattle;
Struggling with the suffocating stench that comes of the empty sacks stained with kerosene;

Smell of hootch,of sweat,of flesh;
The man’s Scottish, drunken smile and look of vague desire;
Her dry hung elongated breasts;
Made the gaping cleavages of the paddy fields throw a sarcastic smile;

The haggard looking birds swooping down in the haphazard fields;
Gazing at the small hut and the dim lantern;
Where her naked children fight over a loaf;
Snatched from a dog..


Some erotic twists and turns;
Arms clasping and unclasping;
Like a woman expressing her emotions during the love making with her husband;
She clambers up like a crab;
As the hairy-chested man locomotes for a decisive thrust;

Breathing like an exhausted;
She looks at her children with a gleam of compromised content;
But the sorrow of poverty clearly visible;
As she looks at the two rupees;
Added to the thirty rupees she earned;
By selling her daughter…..

GRAVE...

A small domain;
Yet able to contain;
The sleeping beauty in paradise;
In a diminished plane….
But may she once step in and forever stay;
I know it’s hard but sometimes life leaves you no other way…

Shouting, mourning, crying is what I don’t want;
May it all happen in a peaceful manner;
And I promise to return in the next new moon….

Many came, many gone;
I have witnessed them all;
Conquered the whole world with a swing;
But none of them had the potential to bespeak their destiny to cling;

I never discriminated anybody;
Be it a black or a white;
Because to me they are family and to the world they are just a body….

Now as you are here;
Never will I leave you alone;
Because nothing in this world can change the fact that you are no more known…

Don’t be heartbroken;
Someday you will have different world;
Even that day also I’ll miss you;
And that day also I’ll think you as mine;
And forever in my heart your name will shine…


But always I pray;
Never do you resemble the characteristics of grey;
I always wish to see smile on your face;
I always wish that you win every race;
May you live long and your place be the home of the free and the brave;
This remains as the only wish of mine as a GRAVE….

BATTLE WITH INSOMNIA.....

Dear god...
I fear I have no clue what I'm after;
The passing night in faded purple has brought nothing for me to cheer;
Tossing and turning restlessly in the bed;
Trying to blot out the memories seeping into my head;

I'm aware of the world moving around me;
And in my head its vehement outcry lingers as perpetual rue;

I know of no blanket that would comfort;
So enchanting, so deceiving;
That would accompany me to death;
With every dream I struggle for breath.

Never had I encountered such nightmares;
The sweats, the aches;
All I do is tremble;
All I do is shake.

With the constant movements during sleep;
My body temperature falls;
And I feel the words escaping my lips;
As if they run past my finger tips;

No control;
Finally rising from the bed with a sleepless break;
So cold;
And now all I can do is shake.

I’m swamped;
My shirt sticking to my skin;
In my efforts to have a sound sleep has made me a crank;
I’m so cold;
I know my dream has become old;
But what else can I do;
If I have only one dream;
And nothing in this world can make it true….

LOVE....

"I have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up every day;
To the sound of your breath on my neck,
The warmth of your lips on my cheek,
The touch of your fingers on my skin,
And the feel of your heart beating with mine;
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
With anyone other than you."

Though it’s just a wish of mine;
I know, this is not possible anymore;
But the feelings of love and togetherness will persist in this heart;
And you will be loved no matter what;
And everything will come around in time.

You have left me in the middle of the journey;
How could I walk lone??
I wish I could go to that world where you have gone;
I wish I could follow your footsteps that would accompany me to find you;
Though I know that never in this lifetime can I get you;

How can I take myself away from you?
I can’t compete, I can’t deny;
There is nothing that I didn’t try;
But now you lie cold and numb;
You are just a body to that insentient world;
But to me you were more than a girl;
You were the love of my life;
And I know I could never get you as the girl I wished to be my wife;

I lost you, but never lost the feeling of togetherness;
I loved you more than anybody;
But destiny betrayed me and life deceived you;
And you were not able to outlive the feelings of my heart;

I’ll always miss you my love;
The girl I always loved is no more in this world;
But I have stolen some sweet memories of yours;
And these would stay with me till the last breath of my life;

But every night I sit alone,
I remember the time which has gone;
The girl whom I loved with the best of my heart is no more;
But still I feel the same for you;
AND ALWAYS WONDER WHERE I WENT WRONG IN LOVING YOU…..